Have you ever woken up immediately in a terrible mood, and the day just never quite seems to change as it progresses? So thats totally me today. Lets start from the beginning…
I wake up first at 06:30 AM because babygirl is hungry. I haven’t slept through that early morning feed except one other time during her 9 weeks of life. So this morning, I ask my husband “can you please feed her so I can sleep?” Of course my husband obliges. I am aware he has some struggles swaddling her, so I told him in advance to wake me up when she was done eating/burping etc and I would swaddle her and put her back in the bassinet. He said OK. YALL…I wake up briefly as he is putting her back in the bassinet but quickly closed by eyes again because ahhh blissful sleep. So within two minutes she rustling around which is uncommon for her; we’ve been blessed with a fantastic sleeper. I look over and her swaddle is so wrong, all up around her face and positioned in a breathable but potentially dangerous way. I. LOST. IT. It wasn’t one of my proudest moments, but it happens. Cue the husband hearing me loudly whispering “WHY DIDN’T YOU WAKE ME UP TO SWADDLE HER!” and “YOU KNOW YOU STRUGGLE WITH THAT AND WHILE SLEEP IS GREAT FOR ME HER SAFETY IS MORE IMPORTANT!” Whatever, I fix that and we all fall back asleep quickly, and I realize my angry reaction was a little unnecessary. Oops.
Second wake up: 08:45 AM. That was amazing since I rarely sleep that late, but also stressful because church starts at 10:00 and no one was ready yet, or had even really began getting ready. I run into my toddlers bathroom where my husband is giving him a bath. I thanked my hubs for getting that started but still stated “please hurry, we are going to be late!” So then for the next hour its running around like crazy while I showered, toddler was bathed and fed, dressed, teeth brushed, hair fixed, shoes on check check check. Hubs gets ready, I get Elsie up and pray she isn’t hungry just yet since she ate a monstrous amount at her 06:30 feed. She isn’t, so we proceed with getting her ready and packing the diaper bag, making a bottle etc etc.
FINALLY..we are off to church. We live less than 5 mins from our church, but like most Sundays I use that brief amount of time to slap some makeup on my tired looking face. Pull into the parking lot and as usual my husband takes our toddler to the nursery while I take Elsie into the church service with me (she can go to nursery, but there are quite a few kids and its flu season and kids are germy, so I try and keep her with me as much as possible). I get into church and she is wide awake and absolutely starving by that point so I get her bottle out and begin feeding her and singing all at the same time while breathing that sigh of relief we all breathe when we finally make it to where we were trying to go.
Typically, my husband is sitting beside me very quickly after dropping Severin in nursery (its a small hometown church and we sit in the same area every Sunday, so he knows where to find me). This Sunday…he doesn’t show up quickly. I eventually risk the glares of all the others around me and look at my phone. I see a text that says “Severin is freaking out in here and won’t let me leave”. This isn’t my toddlers usual behavior, so instead of making him push through it alone, I text back and say “just bring him in here with you”.
THAT WAS NOT THE CORRECT RESPONSE! So in a minute, here comes my husband with my 2 yr old. Severin immediately sits down and says “Mama be very quiet!”…except he’s two and has no clue how to whisper. I just agree and pray he stops talking after that. He doesn’t. (shocking, right?) About two minutes later my husband leaves with toddler in tow back to the nursery, and just stayed with him there the rest of the service because sometimes thats all you can do.
After church we went to lunch. Severin refused to eat his. He had had a bit of an attitude all morning, so I fed him what I could and just really didn’t feel like worrying about forcing him to eat. We leave to go back home and not 30 seconds after getting in the car I hear from the backseat “mama I’m hungry!”. (Insert face palm emoji here). We get home, I feed him yogurt because thats what he agrees to eat. He eats, we change his diaper and clothes and he goes down for a nap. Except he doesn’t. He proceeds to talk for the next hour in his room until he finally falls asleep. But then of course Elsie wakes up, hungry and needing a diaper. You know the drill. She gets fussy after eating and we deal with that for a few hours (yes, HOURS) before they are both finally sleeping and I start working on this website again. Except it doesn’t work and I have to call technical support but eventually get it figured out after a while on the phone.
In the middle of all of that, sometime after we are home from lunch, I am looking around my house and kitchen that I spent what felt like an eternity cleaning yesterday, only to find it is absolutely disgusting. I may or may not have gotten a little too irritated, possibly dropped some pretty stellar but inappropriate sets of words strung together in a way to make my husband understand just how upset I was. Once again, not my proudest moment, but it’s just so incredibly frustrating to have to clean everything every single day. I haven’t cleaned that yet; I’m sort of boycotting that for the rest of the day (a decision I will regret tomorrow but WHO CARES).
This may not all sound like that big of a deal once it’s written out. But it was in the middle of it. I was angry, and flustered, and stressed, and in a bad mood. So for the last hour I’ve done nothing productive except type (and is that really productive? I’m not sure..) and I plan to continue to have a lazy night because sometimes on days where everything is annoying and going wrong and you seem to be heading down a path that quickly leads to every member of your family staring at you like you have three heads because you’re yelling about random shit….those are the moments where we need to stop. Stop worrying about it all. Stop being frustrated with the sink full of dishes and all the laundry that still needs to be washed/dried/folded/put away. Stop worrying about cooking dinner. Instead of worrying, how about we slow down, relax, be a little lazy and remember tomorrow is a new day. Until then…does red wine or white wine go better with frozen pizza?
